To combat social anxiety, I chose to expose myself on YouTube. I haven’t mentioned any of my disorders yet but there is a video for books for BPD. It’s under my Nonfiction November tag. That’s the only way, I can gain confidence with myself. Not many people want to go public with their mental health issues. Mainly because they’re worried with how their friends, family, community, and their peers will receive them. I get it and I understand.
I have nothing to lose. It’s time to spread awareness. Having these mental health issues doesn’t make you inferior to the general public. It is a huge risk and I get that. I’m thinking of ways to stay positive and contribute as much as I can. Like hey, these books are helping me. Hey, this is what I have. Hey, you aren’t alone.
Yeah, I could make videos that having me crying in a bucket but that serves no purpose. I want to separate myself from that avenue of thought. I want people to see me for who I am and not what I have. Hey, I’m a rational person with rational thoughts. I just have mood swings and extra spices that make me different from the pack. I will never say that I conquered any mental health issues. Even though I feel stable, I have that doubt. The moment I say that I have a handle on my disorders, they return with a vengeance. I do feel like I’m a little manic this week but it’s not to the point of hallucinations or anything of that nature. I started a BookTube and AuthorTube channel. They are both rolled into one. I will read books of any type. Education is the key. Most of the books I’m currently reading, are from liberal authors. There aren’t any conservative authors on my reading list for the months of December and January.
I rather take the high-road and not stay down and depressed. I don’t wear makeup in my videos or fix my hair. I leave that to the other channels. I’m just being me. The authentic version of myself. If people don’t like it, they don’t have to watch my videos. This will help me since I’m a writer. I need to show the other side of me. The happy and productive side. Not the negative and angry side. I like putting out videos. Even if nobody watches them, I still feel the need to create these videos. I am the face of Borderline, Bipolar, and Anxiety. Tomorrow, I plan on creating a video in response to another writer’s video. He talked about shyness and social awkwardness. So, I will be responding to his video tomorrow.